By Iman M’Fah-Traoré
Hi, I’m a GoodTrust team member and I lost my mother two years ago.
Grief is one of the most complex emotions to handle, cope with, discuss, and live with. I understand that grieving through the holidays can be particularly intense and hard. And I want to help. When it comes to grief, understanding that grieving solo and grieving collectively are inherently different and each comes with their own set of struggles and warming feelings is very important.
Sometimes you want to hide your grief from your family to avoid putting it on them or making their grief worse, other times, you cannot help but fall apart in their arms and indulge in the bittersweetness that is sharing your pain and seeing it mirrored back to you.
Through the few holidays we’ve spent without my mother, my family and I have come up with ways to honor her, cherish and celebrate her memory while building new ones and holding each other close. I want to share some of these ideas with you.
Firstly, ever since I became acquainted with grief, I devised two simple yet powerful rules:
1) Embrace your feelings
and
2) Relinquish any guilt
These rules help in legitimizing the natural feelings that arise with grief and push away those that do not serve you or the wishes of your loved one(s) that have passed. Whoever it is that you have lost loves you very much and wants you to be happy and joyous even if they are not here to share such joy with you.
How you can enjoy sharing happy moments with loved ones through your grief:
It can be very hard to allow yourself to access happiness while knowing and sensing that someone that is supposed to be with you is no longer. There are ways to surpass this and find joy with the loved ones that surround you today.
The holidays are a time for joy and laughter yet grief may impede on certain moments. Remember, your feelings are valid and your loved ones are here for you. It is OK to feel sad just like it is OK to feel joy despite missing someone you care for to share it with. Focus on those around you and allowing them into your headspace. Follow your gut, smile when it feels right and shed a tear when they come up.
This is your time and the best way to grieve through the holidays is keeping in mind there is no wrong way to do it.
At GoodTrust we are dedicated to assisting you throughout all phases of life, from the joy of living to the aftermath of losing a loved one. We invite you to explore the features we have selected for you to cherish and share your family moments. Our 2-for-1 holiday offer allows you to purchase a GoodTrust Premium account for yourself and gift one for free to a loved one, take advantage of it and gift the gift of GoodTrust!
Wishing you strength, warmth, and light, this holiday season, on behalf of our team.
Enjoy the holidays!
How GoodTrust can help you and your family cherish important memories:
Animate a Photo - How about this year's Christmas Card
Future messages - Send your loved ones a message in the future on how you're feeling this holiday season
Digital Legacy - Plan ahead, organize and share your important documents with your loved ones
Our Holiday Offer - Gift the Gift of GoodTrust