The After-Loss Guide: What to Do When Someone You Love Dies

When someone dies, grief can quickly be accompanied by a long list of practical questions.

Who needs to be called? Where is the Will? What happens to the house? Was there a life insurance policy? Which bills still need attention? What am I supposed to do first?

It can feel like everything needs your attention at once. It doesn’t. It’s important to make space for your emotions all the while checking things off the practical to-do list. 

Some things may need to happen within the first few days. Others can wait weeks or even months. This guide walks through some of the practical steps that may come up after a death, one stage at a time.

Exact requirements vary depending on where the person lived, their estate, and their circumstances. When you’re unsure about a legal, tax, or financial decision, consider speaking with an appropriate professional before taking action.

In the First Few Days

In the immediate aftermath of a death, focus on the people involved, immediate needs, and any wishes the person may have already documented.

Notify the people who need to know

Start with immediate family, close friends, and anyone else who needs to know right away. This may include family and friends, employers and/or employees, people from their day-to-day life, and more. 

You don’t necessarily have to make every call yourself. There are ways to share this task by asking family members and friends to help notify one another. Throughout the whole grieving and estate managing process, do your best not to take everything on yourself. 

Make sure people, pets, and property are cared for

There may be practical things that can’t wait, even while everything else does. Consider:

• Arranging immediate care for children or other dependents, if needed

• Making sure pets are being cared for

• Securing the person’s home, vehicle, and other property

• Collecting important personal belongings that feel urgent

Start with what needs attention today. The rest can wait.

Look for funeral and end-of-life wishes

Before making major arrangements, check whether the person left instructions about what they wanted, including:

• A Funeral Directive or other written wishes detailing their preferences (burial or cremation, cultural or religious preferences, etc.)

• Prepaid or prearranged funeral plans

• Any relevant organ or body donation wishes

Any wishes they left behind can help guide the decisions you and your family make in the days ahead. 

Begin making arrangements

Depending on the circumstances and the person’s wishes, this may include contacting a funeral home, arranging burial or cremation, planning a funeral or memorial, and preparing an obituary.

You don’t have to plan every detail immediately. Start with the decisions that are time-sensitive and build from there.

During the First Week or Two

Once the most immediate arrangements are underway, you can begin gathering the documents and information that will help you understand what comes next.

Locate the estate plan

Look for documents such as:

• Will

• Trust 

• Instructions for personal or sentimental belongings

• Other relevant estate planning documents

Check the person’s files, safe, Digital Vault, attorney’s office, or other place where they stored important information.

Identify who is responsible for what

Estate planning documents may name different people to different roles. Identify:

• The executor (Will)

• Successor trustee (Trust)

• Beneficiaries 

• Guardians 

Make sure the appropriate people know what role they’ve been given and have access to the relevant documents.

Being named in a document does not always mean someone immediately has legal authority to act. The process for formally administering an estate or taking over a Trust can depend on the documents involved and applicable law.

Get certified copies of the death certificate

Certified copies may be requested by financial institutions, insurance companies, government agencies, and others as you begin handling the person’s affairs.

• Ask the funeral home or appropriate local authority how to obtain certified copies

• Keep the originals together somewhere secure

• Request additional copies as needed for the person’s accounts and affairs

There isn’t one number that works for every estate. How many you need will depend on the person’s circumstances.

Start one place for everything

There can be a lot of information coming from a lot of directions. Create a physical or digital folder for:

• Death certificates

• Estate planning documents

• Account and asset information

• Correspondence from financial institutions, insurers, government agencies, and other organizations

• Notes from calls and important contact information

Keep records of any expenses or payments made on behalf of the estate as well.

You may not remember every phone call or detail a few weeks from now. So write things down as you go.

Over the Next Few Weeks

Once you know who is responsible for handling the estate, the next step is often figuring out what the person owned, owed, and had in place.

Locate important accounts and assets

Start building a picture of the person’s financial life. Look for:

• Bank accounts

• Investment accounts

• Retirement accounts

• Life insurance policies

• Real estate and property records

• Vehicles

• Business interests

• Safe deposit boxes

• Valuable personal property

• Digital assets and online accounts

Past tax returns, mail, email, financial statements, and organized estate records may help identify accounts and assets you didn’t already know about.

Identify ongoing expenses and financial obligations

Some expenses may continue after a person dies, including:

• Mortgage or rent

• Utilities

• Insurance

• Loans and credit cards

• Property-related expenses

• Recurring subscriptions and services

Don’t assume every bill should immediately be paid from your own money—or that every account should immediately be closed. What happens next can depend on how an account or debt is owned and how the estate is being administered.

When you’re uncertain, check with the executor, trustee, financial institution, or an appropriate professional before acting.

Notify relevant organizations

Depending on the person’s circumstances, you may need to contact:

• Social Security Administration

• Insurance companies

• Banks and other financial institutions

• Retirement or pension plan administrators

• Other benefit providers

The funeral home may handle certain notifications in some circumstances, so check what has already been done before duplicating the work.

Check for benefits

A death may trigger benefits or payments that the family or estate is entitled to receive. Look into:

• Life insurance benefits

• Employer-provided death benefits

• Final wages or other compensation

• Retirement or pension benefits

• Social Security survivor benefits, if applicable

• Veterans benefits, if applicable

Keep copies of claims, correspondence, and other important information as you go.

In the Months That Follow

Settling someone’s affairs can take time. Depending on the estate, some tasks may continue for many months or longer.

Begin settling the estate

The exact process will depend on what the person owned, how their assets were titled, whether they had a Trust, and applicable state law. It may include:

• Probate or another estate administration process

• Trust administration

• Creating an inventory of assets and debts

• Valuing certain property

• Handling creditor claims

• Transferring or selling property

• Distributing assets to beneficiaries

Professional guidance may be particularly helpful if the estate is complex, there are questions about the Will or Trust, or family members disagree about what should happen.

Address taxes and financial administration

Depending on the circumstances, responsibilities may include:

• Filing the person’s final individual income tax return

• Determining whether estate or Trust tax filings are required

• Obtaining a tax identification number for the estate or Trust, if needed

• Keeping records of estate income, expenses, and distributions

A CPA, tax professional, attorney, or other appropriate professional can help determine which requirements apply.

Handle remaining accounts and property

As the estate moves forward, there may be additional loose ends to address:

• Close or transfer accounts when appropriate

• Cancel subscriptions and services that are no longer needed

• Forward or manage mail

• Transfer titles where appropriate

• Address digital accounts

• Distribute personal belongings

• Preserve important photographs, files, and family records

Not every account should necessarily be closed immediately. Make sure to discuss pros and cons of various options with bank professionals and implicated individuals. 

Don’t Forget Their Digital Life

A person’s life doesn’t only exist on paper anymore.

Important information, memories, financial assets, subscriptions, and even businesses may exist entirely online. Look for:

• Email accounts

• Phones, computers, and other devices

• Cloud storage

• Social media accounts

• Digital photos and videos

• Subscription services

• Domains and websites

• Digital financial assets

• Password manager or Digital Vault

Before accessing, deleting, transferring, or memorializing an account, check the provider’s policies and any applicable authorization. Having someone’s password does not necessarily mean you have legal authority to access their account.

If the person used a Digital Vault or designated Trusted Contacts, check whether they left instructions or information there that can help you understand what exists and what they wanted done with it.

And Don’t Forget Yourself

There is a person behind this checklist.

You may be making phone calls, locating documents, planning a funeral, speaking with financial institutions, and answering questions from family members while also grieving someone you love.

You do not have to finish everything immediately. And you do not need to do everything yourself.

Ask family members or friends to take on tasks that can be shared. Keep notes so you don’t have to hold every detail in your head. Bring in professional support when a decision is outside what you feel comfortable handling.

And give yourself permission to leave tomorrow’s tasks for tomorrow.

A checklist can help you keep track of the administrative work. It can’t put a timeline on grief.

Planning Ahead Can Make This List Lighter

If you’re reading this because someone you love has died, focus on what needs your attention now. The rest can come later.

If you’re reading while planning ahead for yourself, there’s another takeaway.

Many of these tasks can become easier when important documents are organized, wishes are written down, accounts and assets are easier to identify, and the people you trust already know what roles they may need to play.

An estate plan isn’t only about deciding who gets what. It can also mean leaving the people you love with fewer questions to answer, fewer things to search for, and a clearer idea of what you wanted.

You can’t take the grief away. But you can make some of what comes with it a little easier to carry.

Start or continue your estate plan with GoodTrust today.