Talking to Your Adult Children About Estate Planning

Even though you’ve built a life that matters — home, family, memories — estate planning sometimes feels like a conversation that can wait. But when your children are adults and already making major life decisions of their own, now is the perfect moment to bring them into the conversation.

Having that talk isn’t about fear or finality — it’s about connection and care. It’s a way to make things easier, less confusing, and more aligned with your wishes. It’s also a powerful way to show your children that you trust them and want them to have clarity when it matters most.

“I’m doing this because I love you — and because I believe you deserve clarity, not confusion.”

Why It’s Worth Doing

When adult children aren’t included in estate-planning conversations, several things can go wrong — surprise fees or delays, mismatched expectations about heirlooms, and unnecessary stress when roles aren’t clearly defined. By opening up the conversation, you create shared understanding and smoother transitions down the road.

“I’d rather we talk now than have you wonder later.”

It’s not just about distributing assets — it’s about giving your family direction and peace of mind.

How to Start the Conversation

• Choose a relaxed setting. A quiet weekend afternoon, a walk, or dinner together works better than rushing through it over the phone.

• Open with your ‘why.’ You might say, “I want to make sure that if anything happens, you and your siblings know what I’ve planned so you’re not guessing.”

• Be transparent — but only as much as you’re comfortable. You don’t need to share every number or detail, but letting them know the essentials (who’s the executor, where documents are stored, who’s a trusted contact) is key.

• Invite questions. Maybe your child has concerns about how certain assets will be handled or what digital accounts are included. Encourage curiosity — it builds trust.

• Show them your system. Open up your GoodTrust Digital Vault, demonstrate how your documents are stored, who your trusted contacts are, and how everything can and will be accessed when needed.

“I’ve stored the documents in a place I trust. I’ll show you where so you never have to hunt for them.”

“You don’t need to be ready right this second — you just need to know this plan is in place.”

Key Topics to Cover

• Who is your executor or trustee.

• Where your core documents are stored (will, trust, directives).

• How your digital-assets plan works (photos, social media, crypto).

• What your trust or estate structure means for distribution.

• Any wishes about your legacy — from charitable giving to pet care.

“It’s not about the money — it’s about making sure you’re taken care of without unnecessary stress.”

“If anything happens, I don’t want you worrying about paperwork. Let’s get ahead of that together.”

What to Avoid

• Don’t turn it into a surprise or a lecture. This should feel like a conversation, not a presentation.

• Avoid legal jargon — keep it simple and focused on understanding.

• Don’t assume silence equals agreement. Give your kids time to reflect and revisit the topic.

“Your life is busy, mine is too — this one conversation can give us both clarity.”

After the Conversation

• Confirm roles. Make sure your children are comfortable with any responsibilities you’ve assigned (executor, trustee, etc.).

• Update documents as needed. If new wishes or concerns come up, revise your plan accordingly.

• Share access. Make sure your adult children know where everything is and how to retrieve it from your Digital Vault by setting them up as Trusted Contacts. Learn more about adding Trusted Contacts here.

• Set a reminder. Review your plan every 3–5 years or after any major life event.

“This isn’t a forever document — it’s a living plan. We’ll revisit it as life changes.”

“You don’t have to carry the burden alone. Let’s lighten it together.”

Final Thoughts

Talking to your adult children about estate planning might feel awkward at first, but it’s one of the most loving and practical steps you can take. It opens the door to honesty, strengthens family trust, and ensures your legacy continues smoothly and intentionally.

“I want you to know what’s next, so you never have to guess.”

If you’re ready to organize your documents, assign trusted contacts, and give your family the clarity they deserve, start with GoodTrust today, here.