How to Choose the Right People for Your Estate Plan

Creating an estate plan is a little like casting a play. There are different roles to fill, each comes with different responsibilities, and the person who is perfect for one part may not be right for another.

In general, anyone you name in your estate plan should be someone you trust. But trust can look different depending on the role. The person you trust to care for your children may not be the person you want managing paperwork and finances. Your closest friend may be someone you want to leave a meaningful possession to without giving them any administrative responsibility at all.

And increasingly, our closest relationships don't always fit neatly into a traditional family tree. Blended families, unmarried partners, chosen family, close friends, stepchildren and other important relationships can all shape what we want our plans to look like.

That's one of the reasons estate planning is so personal. You are the expert on your life, your relationships and what matters to you. Understanding what each role involves can help you trust yourself to choose the people who make the most sense for yours.

Beneficiaries: Who Do You Want to Receive What You Leave Behind?

Your beneficiaries are the people, organizations, and charities you choose to receive assets or property from your estate.

For many people, their primary beneficiaries are those closest to them: a spouse or partner, children, siblings, other relatives or close friends. But your plan can also reflect the more specific relationships and stories that make up your life.

Maybe there's a piece of jewelry you want your niece to have. Maybe your best friend should get the record collection you've spent decades listening to together. Maybe there's a nonprofit, school or charitable organization whose work you want to support.

The point isn't to build the beneficiary list you're “supposed” to have. It's to document your wishes.

As you choose beneficiaries, ask yourself: Who do I want to benefit from what I've built? Are there particular possessions that have special meaning to particular people? Are there causes or organizations I want to remember? And does my plan reflect the relationships that are important in my life today?

Remember that some assets, such as certain financial accounts and insurance policies, may pass according to beneficiary designations rather than your will, so those designations should be considered alongside the rest of your plan. Learn more here. 

Executor: Who Do You Trust to Carry Out Your Wishes?

Your executor is responsible for carrying out the instructions in your will and handling the administration of your estate. That can include gathering assets, addressing outstanding obligations and distributing property according to your wishes.

Trust matters enormously here—but so do practical skills.

Think about someone who is responsible, organized, comfortable dealing with paperwork and able to communicate with different people during what may be an emotional time. Your executor doesn't necessarily need to be your closest relative or the person who knows you best.

It is common to choose a family member or close friend, but what matters is whether the person is suited to the responsibility. And importantly: ask them first. Someone can love you deeply and still not feel equipped or willing to take on the job. 

For a deeper look at the role, read GoodTrust's guide to choosing the right executor.

Guardian: Who Would You Trust to Care for Those Who Depend on You?

For parents of minor children, choosing a guardian can be one of the hardest decisions in estate planning.

Try not to get stuck looking for a “perfect” replacement for you. Instead, think about the life you want your child to have.

Consider a potential guardian's relationship with your child, parenting approach, values, age and stage of life, location, living situation and willingness to take on the responsibility. If you have multiple children, consider whether you want them to remain together and whether the person you're considering could realistically care for all of them.

Most importantly, talk to the person before naming them. GoodTrust's guardianship guide also recommends considering a backup in case your first choice cannot serve when the time comes. 

Please note, in most circumstances, if a child has another living parent with parental rights, that parent would generally continue as the child’s guardian.

Pets deserve planning, too. You can document who you'd like to care for your pets and provide information about their routines, needs and care through your estate plan and Pet Directive. Your child's guardian and your pet's future caregiver don't necessarily need to be the same person. 

Read more in GoodTrust's guide to making decisions about guardianship.

Power of Attorney and Healthcare Agent: Who Do You Trust to Step In for You?

Not every role in your estate plan is about what happens after you're gone.

A financial power of attorney allows you to authorize someone to handle certain financial matters on your behalf, while an advance healthcare directive can identify who you want involved in medical decision-making if you can't communicate your wishes yourself.

For these roles, ask yourself a different question: Who do I trust to make decisions for me—not simply the decisions they would make for themselves?

Look for someone who can listen, communicate clearly, handle pressure and respect your wishes even when they might personally choose differently.

And one person doesn't necessarily need to do everything. The person you trust with financial decisions may be different from the person you want advocating for your healthcare wishes.

Witnesses: Who Can Help You Properly Execute Your Documents?

Witnesses have a very different job. They aren't being chosen to inherit something or make decisions for you; they help satisfy the execution requirements that can make certain estate planning documents legally valid.

Requirements vary by state and by document, so this isn't a role to fill casually. In some circumstances, having an interested person—such as a beneficiary—serve as a witness can create complications. When possible, choosing qualified, independent witnesses can help avoid unnecessary questions about conflicts of interest.

Follow the specific signing and witnessing instructions applicable to your document and state, and seek qualified legal guidance when you're unsure.

One More Role for Your Digital Life: Trusted Contacts

Your estate isn't only physical.

With GoodTrust's Digital Vault, you can add Trusted Contacts who can be granted access to specific documents and information you choose to share. Think carefully about who should have access to what: the person you trust with family documents might be different from the person best equipped to handle your digital accounts or other sensitive information.

As with the rest of your plan, the goal isn't to give everyone access to everything. It's to make intentional choices about who you trust with each part of your life.

You Don't Have to Cast Every Role Alone

Choosing people for your estate plan can feel daunting because the decisions matter. But there isn't a universal “right” cast.

Your family might be blended. Your closest person might not be a relative. Different people may bring very different strengths to your life. That's okay. Your estate plan should reflect the reality of your relationships, not someone else's idea of what a family or support system is supposed to look like.

You also don't have to make these decisions in isolation. Talk to the people you love. Ask how they feel about taking on a role. Talk through possibilities with your partner, family, chosen family or other people you trust. 

You know your people. You know your priorities. Trust that knowledge—and build a plan around it.

Ready to start choosing your cast? Create or update your estate plan with GoodTrust today.

This article is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, tax or financial advice.